February 06, 2017

I kinda forgot how much fun I used to have writing these posts. Going through the entire week and picking up all the good things that happened, almost feels like walking in a field full of daffodils and picking up the pretty ones to bring back home.

This month started really good; keep in mind that I'm one of those people who get scared at screaming "I'm happy!" out loud, afraid it'll go away, but this time I'm not. This is the first week in a very long time where I felt like things were going the right way and that maybe it was time for me to move on, leaving the bad things where they belong: in the past.

So, here, let me just let it all out, shall we?

We are financially stable. This was actually the nicest thing that happened. I'm not currently working (due to some health related stuff) so knowing that my dad is in a new position kinda makes me feel relieved. 

I got back into my "blogging mode" after being MIA for a while. I was afraid of coming back, honestly. I don't know why but maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm not entirely sure if the content I put online has some sort of value to it, if you guys enjoy reading what I write, if in some way I'm just wasting time. You see, writing, to me is never a "waste of time" weather is for me or for other people, so I just keep doing it because I enjoy it, because it's a part of who I am and knowing this made me feel better about myself and this whole "blogger" title I added to my Twitter bio.

I'm taking my writing seriously, for once. Alright, let's just talk about it, because I feel like someone can understand me in a personal way. I love writing, that's for sure. I said that before and I'm saying it now. I love creating worlds of my own and characters I like (and even those ones I don't.)
But, as most things, I wasn't sure I could actually do it; if I could actually sit at a desk, facing a computer screen, hoping that words would come to me. The thing I was most scared of was that I thought my passion wouldn't lead me anywhere. I was afraid of the realisation of my failure. I've been complaining a lot (mostly to my mum) about the fact that even if I would write something potentially good and even if I would finish this story I have in my mind, what are the chances of getting published? Yes, I enjoy writing and I don't do it for the money, but wouldn't it be GREAT if, after all the dedication I've been putting into it, all the sacrifice and the sleepless nights, something good would come out of it? Wouldn't it be great if my novel would be published? Yes. Yes, it certainly would. But I'm not sure if I can do it; I'm not sure HOW TO DO IT, and I'm not sure if it'll ever happen. But I'm still writing, I'm still figuring out things and as my mum always says to me "You won't know if you don't try. Everything could happen if you work hard towards it. If that's what you wanna do. IF YOU CARE ENOUGH". And I do care.

The days have been brighter, longer, sunnier and warmer. Do you know how hard it is to get up to a gloomy day? To sit at a desk in the dark even if it's 10 a.m.? I hated this winter. It was long and cold and dark and even though I normally would be happy to live in an eternal "Winter Wonderland" this year was different. As soon as the sun was shyly showing itself, I felt captivated by the light and by how pretty and warm by bedroom looks in the sunlight. More of that, please, Mother Nature.

I watched "Me Before You" and cried. A lot. I like this kind of movies. You know, the ones that not only have a pretty face (or two) but that once at the end you feel overwhelmed and full and with a list of things to do. I usually read the books first but this movie got me by surprise. I don't even know why I chose so watch it, I mean, I definitely was curious, but I knew it would have me crying my eyes out and when you don't feel good already, watching something like this, it's no help. But it surprised me. Don't get me wrong: it was SAD, like really sad but at the same time it was funny and made me see things in a different perspective. At the end of the movie not only my eyes were full of tears (I couldn't even see by how much salted water was streaming out of them!) but my heart felt bigger, my mind started spinning and my list of "Things to do before it's too late" was born and was long, really bloody long. Sometimes we need a reminder of how lucky we are in our lives, even if things are not going the way we want them to, even if our health is not the best, WE ARE ALIVE, AND THAT'S PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME.

These were all the good things that happened in Week #3.
We are so used to talk about all the bullshit that happens all the time that we forget about the things that make us smile or laugh or just feel at peace. This is why, whoever is reading this, I want you to tell me at least three good things that happened to you these last few days.
Go on, the words are yours to use!

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